Outside is Overrated

TV Power Rankings - Week of 4/3/11

With baseball season starting and a couple of new shows premiering, you’d think I never took my eyes away from the TV. And you’d be right. I’m exhausted. But it was a great week all around. Well, the beginning half was. The Mariners started off 2-0 (probably the last time they’ll have a winning record) and “The Killing” aired two episodes back-to-back for it’s debut. Honestly, I can’t wait any longer to rave about “The Killing,” so here are this week’s rankings:

1. The Killing – Pilot/The Cage (PW: NR)

AMC – Sunday @ 7pm

Okay so maybe this isn’t fair because Sunday night gave us two episodes of “The Killing” and both, for lack of a better word, killed it. It looks like AMC has another fantastic show on their hands. If you missed it, AMC is running the first two episodes before the third on Sunday night. So set your DVRs for 5pm on Sunday and start watching this show. If you missed my brief preview of it last week, it’s a crime drama. But instead of a new case every week, the whole season is investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl. It’s a slow moving show but it’s good. Really good. I love the fact that it’s set in Seattle. They seemed to have nailed the weather too. It’s rainy and grey in about 90% of the scenes. Seems about right to me. Being from the Seattle area, it was very cool to see them work in a lot of Seattle locations. And no, not just the Space Needle. My only problem with the show is that the main character, Detective Sarah Linden, is played by Mireille Enos. Now, it’s not that I have anything against Mireille, it’s that the only role I’ve seen her in before is a polygamist’s wife on “Big Love.” I can’t help but keep thinking she will have to return to the compound with her sister wives. Aside from that, this show looks like it’s going to be really good and it’s about time we have a good TV show based in Seattle (and “Grey’s Anatomy” does not count).

“In situations like this, I like to ask myself: what would Jesus do?”

2. Justified – Brothers Keeper (PW: 2)

FX – Wednesday @ 10pm

I wanted to rank “Justified” as number one. I really did. It was a fantastic episode, maybe even the best of the season so far. That just tells you how good “The Killing” was. But before I digress, let’s get back to “Justified.” With four episodes left, I don’t expect to be disappointed with any of them. Again, Boyd shows just how smart he is and everyone seems to keep forgetting what he’s capable of. Although, the most exciting part of the episode was that Raylan finally had a showdown of sorts with the Bennett gang. Somehow it ended with Mags getting even more upset with him, but I suppose that was to be expected. It’s just clear that she wants Raylan dead now. There was an amazing scene at the end of the episode where it was focused on Mags’ face and you could see her transition from being heartbroken to extreme anger in just a few seconds. It was chilling. I don’t envy Raylan right now.

“You pick the devil you run with.”

3. Archer – Jeu Monegasque (PW: 1)

FX – Thursday @ 10pm

Have I mentioned that “Archer” keeps getting better? This episode felt exactly like a James Bond movie, except with more humor and more losing money while gambling. There was a lot of that. 3.2 million worth to be exact. At some point, Gillette joined the gang and always seems to be around. It seems like he just showed up and is now always included on missions. He was a fabulous addition. I like what he brings. I feel ranking Archer at number three doesn’t do it the justice it deserves. It could have very easily been the best show this week but it just happened to be a good week all around. The only question I’m left with is: Why was Archer dressed like Hitler?

“Why was I dressed like Hitler?”

4. United States of Tara – Crackerjack (PW: 4)

Showtime – Monday @ 10:30pm

Why is it that whenever a TV show depicts a character going to college, the college campus/classrooms/overall experience is NOTHING like it is in real life? It’s almost as if none of these writers have stepped foot on a college campus. Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. But really, I’m most interested in seeing where Kate goes from here. Obviously a trip to Japan means she’s leaving the show… but for how long? I hope that it isn’t for too long. Kate has always seemed out of place in the show. Her storylines never seem very important and typically die out quickly. Almost like the writers are just trying to find something for her to do. However, after this episode, it feels like her character finally has a place, like she’s grown. The scene with her wrestling with T in the front yard to keep her from leaving shows just how much she has grown. It wasn’t long ago when she would have jumped in the car with T to head off to the mall and spend her mom’s money. It would be sad to see Kate leave at this point. Oh and Marshall’s video for his class project was pretty awesome.

“I worry a lot about getting stuck.”

5. The Borgias – The Poisoned Chalice/The Assassin (PW: NR)

Showtime – Sunday  @ 7pm

My main problem with “The Borgias” is that I don’t know how to pronounce Borgias. How can I like a show that I can’t even pronounce? If I did like it, I wouldn’t be able to recommend it to anyone. Here is how the conversation would go:

Me: Hey, Showtime has this great new show called… The “something”… I can’t really pronounce it but it’s about a pope, who is corrupt… just trust me it’s really good.

Them: Yeah, that sounds great…

Luckily this conversation won’t be happening anytime soon because I didn’t think it was very good. In fact, I was pretty bored by it. Yeah it’s a typical Showtime show and there is lots of sex and blood but the show was pretty unentertaining. Maybe it’s because they decided to show two episodes for the premier? It worked for “The Killing” but not so much for “The Borgias.” I’ll give it a few more weeks before I write it off completely but it is dangerously close to joining “Hung” and “Glee” as shows that I gave up on. One last thought, Jeremy Irons is great, but was it just me or did he seem bored with the role?

“Oh what would Rome be without a good plot?”

TV Power Rankings – Week of 3/27/11

By Joel

Two new shows are premiering this week that I suggest you watch. The first being “The Killing” on AMC. AMC already has three successful TV shows in “Mad Men,” “Breaking Bad” and “The Walking Dead.” All of which are phenomenal. They also ran one season of “Rubicon,” which I really enjoyed, but it didn’t draw high enough ratings for them to justify a second season. At this point, AMC is 3 for 4 with new shows and “The Killing” looks to make it 4 for 5. It’s a crime drama that tracks one murder investigation through the whole season. Alan Sepinwall puts it best by saying “It’s more televised crime novel than traditional TV cop show.” Watch the first two episodes on AMC Sunday night at 9pm and then jump over to HitFix for Sepinwall’s review.

The second show I’m starting this week is “The Borgias.” From what I’ve read, it looks like it is “The Tudors” 2.0. I never watched “The Tudors” but “The Borgias” seems promising as it is about the 15^th century Spanish family of Rodrigo Borgias. The show follows Rodrigo becoming one of the most controversial popes ever. My knowledge of the history of Catholicism is very limited, but the show isn’t going to follow history exactly as it played out. While I am more excited about “The Killing,” I’ll give this one a shot for a couple weeks.

Anyway, here are this week’s rankings:

1. Archer – El Secuestro (PW: 3)

FX – Thursday @ 10pm

Archer just keeps getting better. This week, we find out that Cheryl CarolCheryl is actually from the Tunt family and is worth millions. In typical Archer fashion, Pam gets kidnapped instead of Cheryl. It’s up to Archer and Gillette to rescue Pam while Malory has Cyril and Lana protect her new investment, Cheryl. We got more of the same Archer humor that we all love: Archer playing with an ocelot, Archer thinking the kidnappers are cyborgs, and Archer arguing about turtlenecks. Keep up the great work Archer.

“Does Internet porn know you were cheating on it?”

2. Justified – The Spoil (PW: 4)

FX – Wednesday @ 10pm

I want to go up to Mags’ place for the whoop-de-doo! On second thought, I don’t. I don’t even know what a whoop-de-doo is and she scares me a little. All of the Bennetts scare me a little. Scratch that… they scare me a lot. Mags and Dickie have the brains while Coover has the brawn. I finally got the episode I’ve been waiting for. We got a lot of time with the Bennetts and it was as glorious as I had hoped. This is the point in the season where it starts to get serious. You can tell we are on the verge of some major stuff going down. I can’t wait.

“Y’all go poking the bear and it’s his fault when you get bit.”

3. Californication – And Justice for All (PW: 7)

Showtime – Sunday @ 9pm

Probation. Am I the only one who thought Hank got off super easy? Three years probation, $25,000 fine and 12 days of community service doesn’t seem too harsh considering the fact that we were told the judge wanted to make an example out of him. But it makes sense. The show can’t continue with Hank in jail for an extended period of time so they had to come up with a way for him to face a stiff penalty without having to go to jail. We’ve probably seen the end of the Rob Lowe cameos but I’ve loved them. He was awesome playing the role of movie version Hank Moody. Next season should be interesting as Hank sees this as being the first day of the rest of his life. He needs a change.

“I think it’s all going to be okay. Chapters end. Sometimes you gotta shake things up.”

4. United States of Tara – …youwillnotwin… (PW: NR)

Showtime – Monday @ 10:30pm

I’ve spent the last two weeks blowing through Tara episodes so that I could get caught up in time for the premier. I did it, but I wasn’t overly impressed with the start to this season. However, this episode did do a lot to set up the rest of the season by establishing where Kate is living and what Tara’s next project is. While I never expect a TV show to be completely realistic, I was disappointed with their depiction of Tara registering for classes. First of all, if a class is beyond full and you’re trying to register for it after classes have already started, you can’t just go to talk to the professor and get in. It just isn’t that easy. Second, since when do professors have huge offices like that? His office was bigger than some of the classrooms I’ve been in. Aside from that, it was a decent episode. Towards the end, we may have had our first glimpse at another of Tara’s alters while she was struggling with writing her paper. Should be an interesting season. Tara always is.

“I’m just sick of disappearing, and being the least interesting person inside me.”

5. The Amazing Race – I Feel Like a Monkey in a Circus Parade (PW: 8 )

CBS – Sunday @ 8pm

Apparently, this was the Snapple episode as Snapple made no attempt to hide their presence. Everything in the episode seemed to revolve around Snapple and it got a little annoying. But outside of that, I never get tired of watching the crazy driving in other countries. I would give myself fifteen seconds on the road in India before I was in an accident. Although, anyone who knows me knows that I would probably get into an accident backing out of the parking spot. It was a good episode for the Globetrotters again and it was hilarious watching them trick Malory into thinking they needed to find the clue box. For some reason, I don’t think it’s too difficult to trick Malory. I have to say that I was impressed with Flight Time for hugging Luke after seeing how much he was struggling. Those Globetrotters seem like nice guys.

“I feel a little claustrophobic, but it’s for a good cause: delivering books to children.”

6. Jersey Shore (PW: 9)

MTV – Thursday @ 10pm

Okay so I realize that the season finale was last week so I should be done with this show for now, right? Wrong. This week, MTV gave us the reunion episode. Where the cast members sit around together and reflect on the past season while being interviewed by a completely incompetent host. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong. It was terrible. I promised myself I wouldn’t watch it but I have a weakness for terrible drama. Nothing interesting happened, yet I still watched the whole thing. At least I can say we are done with the Jersey Shore for this season. For real this time. Finally.

TV Power Rankings – Week of 2/27/11

Written by Joel

Since the four NBC shows that I usually include are not airing new episodes for a few weeks, I’ve added a couple different shows. They may or may not stick around when our regulars come back. At least it hasn’t been a boring week with the Charlie Sheen meltdown in full force. If you don’t follow him on Twitter, you’re missing out. The best part of the Sheen meltdown is that there is something in it for everyone. For me, it’s the fact that Two and a Half Men won’t be around for much longer. But unlike Two and a Half Men, the power rankings will continue. Why? Because like Charlie Sheen, I like #winning.

1. Justified – For Blood or Money (PW: 3)

FX – Wednesday @ 10pm

In For Blood or Money we got a great opening scene with Raylan and the Bennett gang. Unfortunately, it was just a taste and that storyline is moving forward very slowly. The anticipation is killing me. I know that we’ll get there eventually, but this episode was really about Rachel. She’s someone we haven’t spent much time with yet. Until now, she has always been just one of the other marshals that helps Raylan out. We learned more about her and her family as she and Raylan tracked down her convict brother-in-law. At the end of the episode, we got a little deeper into what’s going on with Boyd, but we still don’t know which side he’s leaning to. With the previews for next weeks episode, it’s looking like he may not have completely changed.

“We may never be able to prove otherwise. But I want you to know that I know what’s going on… out of respect.”

2. Archer – Tragical History (PW: 4)

FX – Thursday @ 10pm

This weeks episode of Archer spent a lot of time focusing on Cyril and Chris Parnell (voice of Cyril) carried this strong episode. There was no wee baby Seamus as we got a standalone episode where Cyril tried to save the day. New villain George Spelvin lured Cyril with money and the opportunity to prove himself to his coworkers. Cyril took the bait and in the end, Archer had to save him once again. Who knew that Cyril was such a terrible shot? Lucky for him, he wasted all of the bullets, otherwise he’d be missing a foot. One of the best things about Archer is the repletion of jokes. I love it. Do you not?

“Shoot him Cyril! But just him. I think the twins are warming up to me. Right? Am I getting some signals?”

3. Californication – Lights. Camera. Asshole. (PW: 6)

Showtime – Sunday @ 9pm

Looking back at the third season finale of Californication, I still think that it was one of the most depressing half hours of television that I have ever seen. It was a fantastic episode but it was heartbreaking. I know that this season’s finale is still a few episodes away, but it seems like we are closing in on another sad ending to this chapter of Hank’s life. In this week’s episode, Hank sleeps with Sasha’s mom (hey, he didn’t know at the time) and it looks like that will tie up the Sasha storyline. What is really troubling is what’s happening with Becca.  It looks like she’s becoming Hank Moody Jr. But how can you blame her? It looks like next week’s episode is going to be a rough one.

“Girl makes it sound so pleasant. I have one big pain in the ass teenage daughter.”

4. Jersey Shore – A Cheesy Situation (PW: NR)

MTV – Thursday @ 10pm

Okay, so I realize I’m about to lose any credibility I had, if I even had any to begin with, but I actually enjoy Jersey Shore. This show is so ridiculous that it’s funny. However, this season is getting a little over the top. Ronnie and Sammi’s relationship issues are getting really old. One, or both, of them just need to leave. How about we get rid of both of them and then replace Ronnie with Dean. Would anyone notice a difference? Anyway, this week’s episode was entertaining but not Jersey Shore at it’s best. The prank Snooki and Sam pulled on the Situation was surprisingly funny but the whole plumbing issue went on way too long. Why did it take three episodes for them to call a plumber? Really? For those of you who don’t watch Jersey Shore and have made it this far down the review… yes, this show is about relationship issues, pranks and not being able to live on your own. Oh and drinking. Lots of drinking.

“Hestatic is when you’re super happy and like really happy.”

5. The Amazing Race – I Never Looked So Foolish In My Whole Entire Life (PW: NR)

CBS – Sunday @ 8pm

What did you expect? I needed something to write about. Other than Jersey Shore, The Amazing Race is the only reality show that I watch on a regular basis. I haven’t been following it as long as some, which actually leaves me a bit out of the loop for this season. All the teams on this season have been contestants before but didn’t win. While I do recognize some of them, there are plenty I’ve never seen. I’m just glad that Zev and Justin are back though. I thought that they were a strong team that made a small (okay, huge) mistake by losing their passports. This episode continued the first leg of the race that began in the season premiere. Has there ever been a longer leg? It was fun watching the teams race through Australia and Jet and Cord made a Jet and Cord type comeback going from last to third place. I’ll be more excited with this show when it gets deeper into the season. I just want to know if Mallory is crazy.

“Ow! I just slammed my tail in the door!”

TV Power Rankings – Week of 2/20/11 

Written by Joel

Thursday was a big night for a certain pop star, I just can’t figure out if his name is Justin “Bee-eye-ber” or Justice Beaver. Sadly, this week was the end of February Sweeps. What does that mean? I have no idea. Except that there won’t be a new episodes for some of our favorite shows next week. Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock are all taking a few weeks off and won’t be back until March 17th. Hopefully I can find a few other shows to fit in during the down period. Jersey Shore anyone?

Anyway, I know you’ve been waiting on these rankings all week so here they are:

1. 30 Rock – TGS Hates Women (PW: 2)

NBC – Thursday @ 10pm

While most other shows weren’t at their best this week, 30 Rock was and started off with a great opening scene. Liz trying to handle the “TGS Hates Women” issue by bringing in guest writer Abby Flynn had it’s funny moments but Abby was basically Cerie 2.0. Don’t get me wrong, I still really enjoyed that storyline. But Jack taking on a 14-year-old girl? That was the highlight. We all know that Jack wants to run Kabletown one day and he won’t let anyone get in his way, especially not Kailey Hooper. Watching Jack reminisce on the museum tour and then confront Kailey at her school was Jack at his finest. I hope we get more her in the future.

“What most people don’t know is that NBC is still a network.”

2. Parks and Recreation – Indianapolis (PW: 5)

NBC – Thursday @ 9:30pm

April and Andy did not disappoint in their first episode as a couple. Their contest to see who could get the most free stuff was perfect and I could have watched a whole episode around just that. I’m hoping Chris (Rob Lowe) doesn’t spend too much time in Indianapolis because he works so well with the rest of the cast. I loved Leslie trying to determine whether or not he was seeing someone else. Of course Chris would have a ladies razor in his bathroom. And Ron, I hope those bacon and eggs were good.

“I kinda forgot you need money when you have a girlfriend. I want to treat April like a queen, and queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamond, rubies emeralds, treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub ‘em on stuff.”

3. Justified – The I of the Storm (PW: 3)

FX – Wednesday @ 10pm

Boyd Crowder (Walton Goggins) is just fascinating. You never know what he’s going to do next and it’s impossible to tell if he’s actually changed. Dewey Crowe, however, is just as dumb as always. Impersonating Raylan to steal prescription drugs probably wasn’t his most intelligent decision either. But as crazy as Dewey was, it was nice to spend some quality time with Boyd. And what a final scene that was for him. It was an all around good episode. I’m not a big fan of the Ava/Winona/Raylan story but so far that hasn’t been very prominent in this season. After nothing last week, we got a little bit of Dickie Bennett (Jeremy Davies). I know that we’ll get a Jeremy Davies/Timothy Olyphant showdown at some point and I think my head might just explode.

“You know Boyd…for a guy who’s supposedly changed, you sound a lot like you always did.”

4. Archer – The Double Deuce (PW: 6)

FX – Thursday @ 10pm

Archer gets stuck with his son, wee baby Seamus, and it’s not a surprise to learn that the poor kid has the worst father. While under Archer’s care (if you can call it that) we saw Seamus eating shaving cream, playing with a razor and drinking alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Unfortunately for the wee one, his grandmother isn’t much better and we get answers about why Archer is the way that he is. I loved the Woodhouse backstory but the scenes with Archer and Seamus were my favorite.

“I can do baby or I can do geezer murder mystery but I can’t do both!”

5. Community – NBC – Intro to Political Science (PW: 1)

Thursday @ 8pm

Maybe my expectations are too high for Community. I wasn’t impressed. The only part that I really enjoyed was Abed’s storyline because it was nice to see him involved in a romance as awkward as he is. Hopefully that is a storyline they are able to continue. Other than that, there were only a couple scenes that made me laugh (Troy “Butt Soup” Barnes and Jeff’s audition tape being the others) and overall, it was a pretty weak episode. Is it just me or is Magnitude not really that funny? Pop pop?

“And I’m Troy ‘Butt Soup’ Barnes. What? That’s my name.”

6. Californication -  The Recused (PW: 4)

Showtime – Sunday @ 9pm

Hank on a golf course was not as funny as I thought it would be. However, I do like Abby and Hank together and hope that continues. Knowing Hank, it won’t. He’s still hung up on Karen and that doesn’t appear to be changing any time soon. I like Ben and I think that deep down, Hank likes Ben and knows he’s good for Karen. But will Karen be able to get over Hank? The rest of this episode was about Marcy, Charlie and Stu’s pitch meeting and that felt a little corny. I realize that Californication is on Showtime but is that who they really needed to pitch the show to? Anyway, it was good to see Charlie doing what he does best and it was pretty obvious that Marcy was having second thoughts. Thankfully we didn’t get to see any of Charlie’s evening with #21.

“You’re like a bald Benjamin Button aging in reverse. You’re going to die a big, pink, quivering, Jell-O baby.”

7. The Office – Todd Packer (PW: 7)

NBC – Thursday @ 9pm

With the exception of Jim pulling the drawer prank on Dwight, I was pretty disappointed. After this episode and last weeks, I’m starting to see a trend of Holly steering Michael away from the things he once found cool. It’s obvious that this season is going to be about Michael saying goodbye and not leaving any loose ends, but most of it just hasn’t worked for me. I am happy that this appeared to be a farewell to Todd Packer because his character never really fit. It was a character that worked in the British version but didn’t make enough appearances on the U.S. version to work the same way. The desk drawer prank seemed to be the old Jim and I wish we had more of that.

“Packer is going to be here ‘til the day he dies, just like the rest of us.”

Weekly TV Power Rankings

The lack of football has given me time to get caught up on some shows that are running right now. This week, that show was Californication. In case you missed last weeks rankings, I’m only ranking the shows that I watch throughout the week. Here is week two of my rankings, it looks like I can actually make this a regular thing!

1. Community - Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking (LW: 4)

NBC - Thursday @ 8pm

I want a million signed photos of LeVar Burton. Why? Because you can’t disappoint a photo. Abed stepped behind the camera this week and “directed” the episode. The documentary style of this episode worked really well (slight jab at The Office?) and like always, there were many great pop culture references. I can think of a few people who would appreciate Troy’s plea for the return of Firefly. Like last week, I want to know where they are going with Pierce. For the past few weeks, Pierce has been awful and has made everyone in the study group hate him. I thought that him being in the hospital would bring everyone around and help redeem his character but instead he makes everything worse. Could this be the last season with Chevy Chase? Hmm, let’s not go there just yet. However, because of the fantastic interactions between LeVar Burton and Troy, I bequeath upon this episode the top ranking for the week.

“I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I’ll always hate him for that.” - Pierce

2. 30 Rock - It’s Never Too Late for Now (LW: 6)

NBC - Thursday @ 10pm

It’s never too late for now. And now I’m craving a white wine with ice cubes and Sprite. Everyone loves a good mystery and 30 Rock delivered just that this week. I’m a little shocked that I enjoyed the episodes as much as I did considering Tracy was absent and Kenneth didn’t have any lines. Liz and Jack did a great job carrying this episode. Sad, single, crazy cat lady Liz never disappoints and Jack negotiating with his Trinidadian nanny was classic. No last place for 30 Rock this week!

“How many times does a woman meet Mr. Right? I’ve had three chances; Floyd, then Carol, and I was once in an elevator with Tom Brokaw, and I blew all three…opportunities.” - Liz

3. Justified - The Life Inside (LW: 1)

FX - Wednesday @ 10pm

This week’s episode of Justified was definitely a standalone one and that’s the main reason for the drop in the rankings. The only long-running plot that they continued this week was Raylan’s latest attempt at a relationship with his ex-wife, Winona. This is the one storyline of the series that I could really do without. Luckily, the standalone case in this episode was very entertaining. Can’t go wrong with Raylan chasing a pregnant convict who has just been kidnapped. Definitely a solid episode but I hope we get back to the main story arc next week.

“Jess, you ever hear about a spot snipers call ‘the apricot?’ It’s where the brain stem meets the spine. Hit a fella there, he ain’t gonna pull no trigger. It’s just (click), lights out.” - Raylan

4. Californication - Lawyers, Guns and Money (LW: NR)

Showtime - Sunday @ 9pm

I finally got caught up on season four. They’ve slightly (and I mean slightly) toned down the sex from season one. Californication is either hilarious, depressing, or a weird combination of both. Sunday’s episode, Lawyers, Guns and Money was a combination of both. For a show about someone hitting rock bottom, Hank Moody (David Duchovny) keeps finding his way back there. This episode was no exception. Hank can’t seem to get anything to go his way, nor does he try to change his luck. His own daughter referred to him as “a poor man’s Bukowski.” Loved seeing the return of Eddie Nero (Rob Lowe) who had some great lines and brought some comedy into what was a fairly depressing episode. Eddie summed up the series best when he said to Hank, “it’s about a guy trying to keep it together while falling apart.” Possibly my favorite line of the series. Like most episodes of Californication, we are left with one question:  How will Hank bounce back?

“I think we should kill someone tonight. I mean like a hobo or something.” - Eddie

5. Parks and Recreation - Media Blitz (LW: 3)

NBC - Thursday @ 9:30pm

Watching Ben (Adam Scott) fumble his way through interview after interview was fantastic. His breakdown on “Ya Heard? with Perd” was the highlight. This is why I was excited for Adam Scott to join Parks and Recreation and it’s about time he gets to play a bigger role in the show. By the way, if you never got around to watching Party Down when it was on, I highly recommend checking it out. Adam Scott at his finest. This weeks episode wasn’t the funniest but it was probably the most awkward. Glad to see Andy and April back together.

“Look, who hasn’t had gay thoughts?” - Ben

6. Archer - Pipeline Fever (LW: 5)

FX - Thursday @ 10pm

Lana. Lana. LANA! Lana and Archer’s trip to New Orleans resulted in a surprisingly little amount of action. The lack of action was for the better because we needed an episode focusing on the two of them and it was hilarious. We got a little backstory about Lana (and her afro) and plenty of Archer one-liners.

“Whaling ships? What, he’s against clean-burning lamp oil?” - Archer

7. The Office - Threat Level Midnight (LW: 1)

NBC - Thursday @ 9pm

With this weeks episode of The Office, we return to Michael’s movie script, Threat Level Midnight, and Michael Scarn. I enjoyed seeing some old characters (Roy, Karen, and Jan) but this was an episode that didn’t really progress the storyline of the season. I did enjoy the episode for the nostalgia factor. It felt like we were taking trip through the history of the show. Threat Level Midnight was silly and enjoyable and was definitely a fitting episode for Michael’s farewell season. However, it was a bit of a let down from last week.

“Holly, this isn’t Ocean’s Eleven where you get together with your friends and you just have fun and you don’t care about how it turns out.” - Michael

Weekly TV Power Rankings

I’m going to step away from sports for this post and talk about my second favorite thing in the world. Television shows. 

I’ve been kicking around this idea for months now and I can’t claim it as my own. TV power rankings have been done before but I’m putting my own spin on this one. Keep in mind, these are only shows that I watch. I’m always looking for new shows, so give me suggestions! My method for ranking these shows is a super-secret, highly scientific formula. So if don’t like my rankings, don’t blame me. Blame science.

1. Justified

Raylan Givens is back. I needed me some more Timothy Olyphant (he plays Raylan, a super awesome U.S. Marshal). If you’re not watching this show, then I suggest you start. FX was smart in renewing it for a second season and the season two premier did not disappoint. It appears that Jeremy Davies (Daniel Faraday in Lost) is going to play a big role this season as the bad guy. Love it. 

“Alright look, I’ve tried to be reasonable. You give me your word in ten seconds or I shoot you in the head.”

2. The Office

If not for the return of Justified, The Office would have taken the top spot this week. I’ve been disappointed with the series lately (especially last season) but this episode was back to the show I loved. I knew we were off to a good start with a great opening scene and I’m glad the show is including Craig Robinson more. Steve Carrell and Amy Ryan are amazing together and drunk Jim and Pam were awesome. No complaints about this episode. I’m looking forward to seeing how this season finishes up, should be really good.

“I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but we can make it work. That’s what she said.”

3. Parks and Recreation

Ron and Tammy. Fun fact: Nick Offerman (Ron Effing Swanson) and Megan Mullally (Tammy Swanson Swanson) are married in real life. Seeing Ron in cornrows was fantastic. Does anyone else think he looked a little like Kenny Powers? Unfortunately, there was a lack of Chris Pratt (Andy) in this episode, but we did hear from “Bert Macklin, FBI” again. While I did enjoy this episode, I felt a little PDA’d out considering I had just watched The Office, which was loaded with groping and kissing. But hey, it’s Valentine’s Day, right?

“I know Tammy seems scary, but really she’s just a manipulative, psychotic, library book peddling, sex-crazed she-demon.”

4. Community

Of the Thursday night comedies, Community is my favorite. After last weeks epic D&D episode, we were in for a let down. Still a decent episode thanks to Troy and Abed going after the same girl. I do hope they find the right girl someday. I thought that the Britta storyline was so-so and Jeff’s was only slightly better. Loved his dig at soccer but Chang seemed to let me down a little in this episode. I’m really curious to see where they go with Pierce. Maybe more Andy Dick?

“I’m a stylish American, I’ve been forcing myself to be into soccer since 2004.”

5. Archer

Who knew that Woodhouse is a heroin addict? “Blood Test” was a very solid episode. Basically, I’m saying that it wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad. I’m not a big fan of ODIN and hope they don’t stick around for too long. The twist at the end involving the liter of blood makes the whole episode worth watching though.

“Is that a friggin’ candy bar?”

6. 30 Rock

It just isn’t as good as it used to be. And I don’t mean that in a hipster “I liked 30 Rock when it was on vinyl” way. Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracey Morgan are all still great but something is missing. I do love Matt Damon as Carol, Liz’s pilot boyfriend, but the whole scene on the airplane wasn’t very funny. Especially when it looks like that was the send-off for Carol. The episode wasn’t all bad though. Avery and Jack desperately trying to get out of Canada so that their child wouldn’t be a Canadian citizen was fantastic. Making fun of Canada is always funny.

“Yes my daughter is Canadian-American, but I’m going to treat her just like a human baby.”